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Reacting or responding?

23 November 2022
Vera Marbach
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Close up of brain networks that can help us respond instead of reactingDo you find yourself reacting rather than responding under stress? We will explore our stressors and how to regulate the effect they have on our autonomic nervous systems. Yes, it is possible! This will help us to respond intentionally and creatively rather than reacting automatically to a stressful situation. We will have access to more areas in our brains even when we find ourselves in stressful situations.
There will be an opportunity to practice the regulating exercises so that they are available to you when you need them…

This is one of the sessions in our new offering “Pick ‘n Mix stress management”. More details here. We would like to put the power back into your hands and give you agency to tailor-make a stress management package that really works for you. Every Wednesday in October from 19:30 – 20:45 we will be facilitating a different topic online. You decide what you  need and when and whether you would like another session. You give yourself time to apply your learnings, implement change and control the amount of new information you are exposed to. Every month our offering will change slightly. Do check in regularly to see what’s been adjusted. We may also try out a different day of the week.

Email contact@tt-tt.co.za to book your place by 18:00 on 22 November.

Emotional roller coaster redirection

9 November 2022
Vera Marbach
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illustration of the brain with a colourful creative side and more logical side

Every time our emotional side has run away with us again, we wonder if we will ever learn?! In this session we will find out what our emotions can teach us and understand our emotional triggers. We will also learn to regulate our instinctive reactions so that we can respond instead of react. We will explore the possibilities around changing our emotional response. This session will help develop your self-awareness and strengthen your emotional intelligence.

This is one of the sessions in our new offering “Pick ‘n Mix stress management”. More details here. We would like to put the power back into your hands and give you agency to tailor-make a stress management package that really works for you. Every Wednesday in October from 19:30 – 20:45 we will be facilitating a different topic online. You decide what you  need and when and whether you would like another session. You give yourself time to apply your learnings, implement change and control the amount of new information you are exposed to. Every month our offering will change slightly. Do check in regularly to see what’s been adjusted. We may also try out a different day of the week.

Email contact@tt-tt.co.za to book your place by 18:00 on 8 November.

Emotional roller coaster redirection

19 October 2022
Vera Marbach
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The colourful emotional brain

Every time our emotional side has run away with us again, we wonder if we will ever learn?! In this session we will find out what our emotions can teach us and understand our emotional triggers. We will also learn to regulate our instinctive reactions so that we can respond instead of react. We will explore the possibilities around changing our emotional response. This session will help develop your self-awareness and strengthen your emotional intelligence.

This is one of the sessions in our new offering “Your personal stress management smorgasbord”. More details here. We would like to put the power back into your hands and give you agency to tailor-make a stress management package that really works for you. Every Wednesday in October from 19:30 – 20:45 we will be facilitating a different topic online. You decide what you  need and when and whether you would like another session. You give yourself time to apply your learnings, implement change and control the amount of new information you are exposed to. Every month our offering will change slightly. Do check in regularly to see what’s been adjusted. We may also try out a different day of the week.

Email contact@tt-tt.co.za to book your place by 10:00 on 19 October.

Re-directing the emotional rollercoaster

19 September 2022
Vera Marbach
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Just after our emotions have run away with us again, we wonder if we will ever learn?! In this session we will find out what our emotions can teach us, understand our triggers and learn to regulate our instinctive reactions so that we can respond instead of react. We will explore the possibilities around changing our emotions…

This is one of the sessions in our new offering “Your personal stress management smorgasbord”. We would like to put the power back into your hands and give you agency to tailor-make a stress management package that really works for you. Every Monday from 19:30 – 20:45 we will be facilitating a different topic online. You decide what you  need and when and whether you would like another session. You give yourself time to apply your learnings, implement change and control the amount of new information you are exposed to. Every month our offering will change slightly, so do check in to see what’s been added.

Email contact@tt-tt.co.za to book your place by midday on 5 September.

Integrating all aspects of YOU

21 August 2020
Vera Marbach
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Categories: Blog

While I was doing my coaching course, we were advised to focus on finding and developing our own niche as coaches. My thought process kept bringing me back to the term “integration” – a concept that has often featured in my life, in a number of ways.

I was first introduced to “integration” when, as an Occupational Therapy student in the nineties, we learnt about how better results are achieved when the two sides of our bodies and brains work together. Much more so, than when we rely on only one side. Integration can be defined as the process of combining two or more things in an effective way so that they form a unified whole that is more than merely the sum of its parts. Disintegration then is the loss of effectiveness, cohesion, strength – a process of fragmenting or falling apart. We experience disintegration when we feel overwhelmed by external and internal stressors and challenges, when our parts are not working together smoothly.

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and often we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

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This is not their battle…

7 June 2020
Vera Marbach
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Categories: Blog

All over South Africa, people have listened and watched with heavy hearts as videos of the events leading to the #blacklivesmatter demonstrations have circulated on social media. The complexity of emotions we are experiencing is too multi-layered for a short article like this. I can only mention a few thoughts, and yes, these are coming from a white South African. I have to own my come-from. Your perspective may be different.

Firstly, I am so aware of the fact that for many of my black friends/fellow South Africans watching these videos, reading people’s comments and listening to talk shows during the last 2 weeks has been re-traumatising. It has brought up pain, anger and feelings of helplessness from past experiences that feel like they happened today. Even in 2020, most black South Africans have their own list of very recent racism they were exposed to, some of verbal, some of physical abuse. Most of them without video evidence. Add to that the generational trauma of our racially-charged past. We stand on ground seeped in hurtful memories and traumas that have not all been honoured or worked through.

And maybe it is in this discomfort that we must stand a little longer. This is not “their” battle (the re-traumatised), it affects everyone, it is every South African’s battle…What could specifically white folk do here in this present moment? *

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The Potential of Optimism

4 November 2019
Vera Marbach
1 Comment
Categories: Blog

In a 2017 Ipsos MORI detailed survey of 26,489 people across 28 countries, South Africans scored high in pessimism and low in their knowledge of actual facts they based their pessimism on.[1] Most South Africans can share personal stories of expressing and experiencing this pessimism.

Max Roser explains “This pessimism about what is possible for the world matters politically. Those who don’t expect that things get better in the first place will be less likely to demand actions that can bring positive developments about. The few optimists on the other hand will want to see the necessary changes for the improvements they are expecting.” [2]

There is a definite need for optimism in South Africa if we want to see some progress in our ongoing battles with inequality, poverty, gender-based violence and crime.

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Responding, not reacting

25 October 2019
Vera Marbach
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Categories: Blog

On the subject of the Grantleigh artwork, let’s think a little about the storm of activity in response to the art exhibition; perhaps we can work out something useful about how to approach similar incidents in the future. We know there will be opportunities to apply our learning 🙂 I would like to suggest using the phrase “ThinkThruTalkThru” as a bit of a motto …

Let’s think: One of the things we should be asking ourselves is why exactly are we as Christians upset? Can we name the particular reason underneath our outrage, and underneath that, until we come to the core? Can we bring it before God honestly and ask – Is this an important truth or an idol we hold dear? Are we prepared for God to change us in this uncomfortable process? Are we taking a statement about society personally? Could we be taking something at face-value when it is meant as an abstract metaphor? Is there anything we can learn or apply from this trigger – what part of the message can we affirm? What part do we disagree with?

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Killing in Schools

1 October 2019
Vera Marbach
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Categories: Blog, Diversity Dialogue

On 13 July, ten people gathered at Johannesburg Bible College in Soweto to dialogue around the topic of “Killing in schools”. Other themes included violence in home and society, rights and freedom vs. responsibility, and government’s failure – mainly in the education system, the unintended societal results of changes and laws, and the unintended results of institutions taking over responsibilities that were relational before.

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Family

8 August 2019
Vera Marbach
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Categories: Blog, Diversity Dialogue

On 18 May in Auckland Park, the topic chosen was “Family”. The dominant theme was the continuing influence of inequality

on our relationships within families. The underlying power struggle between inequality due to race (with different

shades represented within a family) and inequality due to gender (with a strong patriarchal dominance) was evident,

with strong voices representing both.

Looking back on the dialogue together, the following observations were made:

  • The system is oppressive.
  • I have a greater understanding of my own pain.
  • Black women found it more difficult to represent anger and moved to expressing pain.
  • People tend to shift from pain to anger. Anger is vocalised pain. If not vocalised, pain is internalised.
  • Pain can assist us in finding a solution.

A big thank you to those who bravely sat in the uncomfortable voices of pain and anger and committed to growing for all of us!

 

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