Can we respond, rather than react?

In the midst of a very challenging time in our country, there is a turmoil of emotions swirling round in each of us – disbelief, horror, sorrow, sadness, anger, growing anxiety, for some, fear. Things feel very much beyond our own control – in fact completely out of control in some places. The stress hormone cortisol builds up in our bodies, activates our sympathetic nervous system and we are ready to fight in word and deed, or fly as fast as we can. Every fibre of our bodies is on high alert. In the last few days, many lives have probably been saved by the body’s design to readily react to circumstances.

Our ability to react to what is going on around us is rooted in what is going on within our own bodies, minds and hearts. It is linked to the levels of our own hormones, to our own emotions, to meeting our own needs.

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Taking control of anxiety

This 3 part course includes 2 interactive zoom group sessions of 2 hours and one individual coaching session of 1 hour (online or outside face-to-face).

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

There is an alternative. By integrating those strong emotions into our lives, learning what lessons we can from them, and harnessing the motivation and energy they give us, we can implement real change in our circumstances or grow in our ability to deal with them. This journey will feel uncomfortable at times, but the reward of reaching the destination – a more unified, integrated, cohesive personality and way of living – is well worth it.

Saturday 1 May 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our habits to control our anxiety:

We will explore daily rhythms as a way of changing us and helping us control our anxiety. This will include an evaluation of our habits, both good and bad, and how we can build on the good, exploring the benefits of solitude, rest and restoration.  Again, there will be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices together such as relaxation exercises.

Saturday 8 May 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our time to control our anxiety:

We will cover our perceptions of how we use our time, challenge some of our beliefs and explore our emotions about time and look at some practical ideas for time management. There will also be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices such as contemplation and silence.

The emphasis will be on practical experience of the tools shared so that you leave with authentic, effective tools that you have tried and applied to yourself. These will then be accessible to you in anxiety-provoking situations.

In the personal coaching session (at a time that suits you and the coach) you will have the opportunity to explore further solutions to your challenges so that there is real and practical progress in your ability to manage your anxiety.

 

Places limited to 10.

Cost (special Covid rate for complete package): R600/ $50/ €50/ £50

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za

Taking control of anxiety

This 3 part course includes 2 interactive zoom group sessions of 2 hours and one individual coaching session of 1 hour (online or outside face-to-face).

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

There is an alternative. By integrating those strong emotions into our lives, learning what lessons we can from them, and harnessing the motivation and energy they give us, we can implement real change in our circumstances or grow in our ability to deal with them. This journey will feel uncomfortable at times, but the reward of reaching the destination – a more unified, integrated, cohesive personality and way of living – is well worth it.

Saturday 1 May 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our habits to control our anxiety:

We will explore daily rhythms as a way of changing us and helping us control our anxiety. This will include an evaluation of our habits, both good and bad, and how we can build on the good, exploring the benefits of solitude, rest and restoration.  Again, there will be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices together such as relaxation exercises.

Saturday 8 May 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our time to control our anxiety:

We will cover our perceptions of how we use our time, challenge some of our beliefs and explore our emotions about time and look at some practical ideas for time management. There will also be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices such as contemplation and silence.

The emphasis will be on practical experience of the tools shared so that you leave with authentic, effective tools that you have tried and applied to yourself. These will then be accessible to you in anxiety-provoking situations.

In the personal coaching session (at a time that suits you and the coach) you will have the opportunity to explore further solutions to your challenges so that there is real and practical progress in your ability to manage your anxiety.

 

Places limited to 10.

Cost (special Covid rate for complete package): R600/ $50/ €50/ £50

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za

Stop the bus – who and where am I?

We tend to follow the expected trajectory of our lives, without too much thought. We go to school, train for a job, develop our careers, work most days, date, find a life partner (or not), decide to have kids (or not)…and then one day, we look back on our lives and perhaps realise we are not where we thought we would be. Perhaps we are not even who we thought we would be.

This interactive talk will give us the opportunity to pause and reflect about who we have become, where we are and whether we are on the right bus…

Join Khanyi and Vera as they share some of their experiences with changing direction (or getting on a different bus).

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za to get the zoom call details.

Taking control of anxiety

This 3 part course includes 2 interactive zoom group sessions of 2 hours and one individual coaching session of 1 hour (online or outside face-to-face).

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

There is an alternative. By integrating those strong emotions into our lives, learning what lessons we can from them, and harnessing the motivation and energy they give us, we can implement real change in our circumstances or grow in our ability to deal with them. This journey will feel uncomfortable at times, but the reward of reaching the destination – a more unified, integrated, cohesive personality and way of living – is well worth it.

Saturday 27 February 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our habits to control our anxiety:

We will explore daily rhythms as a way of changing us and helping us control our anxiety. This will include an evaluation of our habits, both good and bad, and how we can build on the good, exploring the benefits of solitude, rest and restoration.  Again, there will be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices together such as relaxation exercises.

Saturday 6 March 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our time to control our anxiety:

We will cover our perceptions of how we use our time, challenge some of our beliefs and explore our emotions about time and look at some practical ideas for time management. There will also be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices such as contemplation and silence.

The emphasis will be on practical experience of the tools shared so that you leave with authentic, effective tools that you have tried and applied to yourself. These will then be accessible to you in anxiety-provoking situations.

In the personal coaching session (at a time that suits you and the coach) you will have the opportunity to explore further solutions to your challenges so that there is real and practical progress in your ability to manage your anxiety.

 

Places limited to 10.

Cost (special Covid rate for complete package): R600/ $50/ €50/ £50

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za

 

Taking control of anxiety

This 3 part course includes 2 interactive zoom group sessions of 2 hours and one individual coaching session of 1 hour (online or outside face-to-face).

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

There is an alternative. By integrating those strong emotions into our lives, learning what lessons we can from them, and harnessing the motivation and energy they give us, we can implement real change in our circumstances or grow in our ability to deal with them. This journey will feel uncomfortable at times, but the reward of reaching the destination – a more unified, integrated, cohesive personality and way of living – is well worth it.

Saturday 27 February 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our habits to control our anxiety:

We will explore daily rhythms as a way of changing us and helping us control our anxiety. This will include an evaluation of our habits, both good and bad, and how we can build on the good, exploring the benefits of solitude, rest and restoration.  Again, there will be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices together such as relaxation exercises.

Saturday 6 March 14.00 – 16.00 SAST

Managing our time to control our anxiety:

We will cover our perceptions of how we use our time, challenge some of our beliefs and explore our emotions about time and look at some practical ideas for time management. There will also be time to engage in some anxiety reducing practices such as contemplation and silence.

The emphasis will be on practical experience of the tools shared so that you leave with authentic, effective tools that you have tried and applied to yourself. These will then be accessible to you in anxiety-provoking situations.

In the personal coaching session (at a time that suits you and the coach) you will have the opportunity to explore further solutions to your challenges so that there is real and practical progress in your ability to manage your anxiety.

 

Places limited to 10.

Cost (special Covid rate for complete package): R600/ $50/ €50/ £50

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za

 

Choosing agency

by Khanyi & Vera

Everyone has the right to call themselves a victim at this historical moment – a victim of the fallout around Covid, to a smaller or larger extent. So much has happened in the last year that is unrelated to any action on our part, that feels like it is beyond our control. Admittedly, the pandemic has affected us to different degrees, but all our lives have been changed.

Everyone has the right to call themselves a victim, but not everyone chooses to label themselves that way. Many could choose to call themselves victims given their circumstances and experiences, but not everyone subscribes to the stereotype. What are the perceived benefits to seeing ourselves as the victim in a situation? Is it worth the fight for first place? Is there a hierarchy of victimhood and an overall victim victor? What do we lose when we shake off the label?

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Time to celebrate!

Throughout this year celebrations have been dampened by regulations and by anxiety. I have been thinking about the value of celebrating. What exactly does it do in my life?

Celebrating puts a stake in the ground to show “This is where I am now. I have accomplished this specific achievement.” We celebrate big things milestones like passing an exam, finishing school, completing a degree. There is also value in celebrating smaller steps like developing a new habit. The feel-good experience of celebration helps us to hold on to the progress we have made, to keep the ground we have claimed.

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Our first Diversity Dialogue online!

A reason to celebrate – on Saturday 22 August we facilitated our first online Diversity Dialogue! We appreciate everyone who brought their time and energy into that space, especially those who felt some trepidation at doing something new technologically! Our topic was “Sensitizing the Church to Gender Based Violence”. We would like to share some highlights…

It was apparent during the dialogue, that there are many churches where the teaching seems to be more about rules and gender roles than about Jesus’ love for sinners. In many churches, women do not feel they are seen for who they are because they feel they have to fit into a small and rigid role and cannot be authentically themselves. There was a sense of mourning and lament for the loss of their potential skills and talents that could have contributed to life together but were not enjoyed by the community.

In both community life and Bible teaching, we need to develop an equal focus on the perpetrator and the victim. Bible teaching should be about the real people described in the Bible, with their faults and sins. The heroes of the faith should not be “sugar-coated”. In our practical lives, we can accept all broken people including those who are aggressive or alcoholics, and deal with their hurt. We can work with men who are in pain, allowing them space to heal before their pain leads to violence.

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Integrating all aspects of YOU

While I was doing my coaching course, we were advised to focus on finding and developing our own niche as coaches. My thought process kept bringing me back to the term “integration” – a concept that has often featured in my life, in a number of ways.

I was first introduced to “integration” when, as an Occupational Therapy student in the nineties, we learnt about how better results are achieved when the two sides of our bodies and brains work together. Much more so, than when we rely on only one side. Integration can be defined as the process of combining two or more things in an effective way so that they form a unified whole that is more than merely the sum of its parts. Disintegration then is the loss of effectiveness, cohesion, strength – a process of fragmenting or falling apart. We experience disintegration when we feel overwhelmed by external and internal stressors and challenges, when our parts are not working together smoothly.

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and often we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

Read More
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