Stress management for busy women

Take a break from your busy schedule this women’s day and treat yourself to an outdoors’ day of rejuvenation, relaxation and practical stress management skill building in this picturesque setting close to Magaliesburg. Spoil yourself with a luxurious break in the beauty of nature.

This package also includes one individual coaching session of 1 hour (to be booked at a time convenient to you – online or in person) to follow through with you personally so that there is real and practical progress in your ability to manage your stress.

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

There is an alternative. By integrating those strong emotions into our lives, learning what lessons we can from them, and harnessing the motivation and energy they give us, we can implement real change in our circumstances or grow in our ability to deal with them. This journey will feel uncomfortable at times, but the reward of reaching the destination – a more unified, integrated, cohesive personality and way of living – is well worth it.

All that is needed for some stress-free me-time will be provided on this day away: your needs will be catered for with refreshing drinks, treats and a sumptuous (but healthy!) individually-packed picnic lunch. A workbook and a goody bag is included.

Our course content for the day covers:

  • exploring your stressors and the effect they have on you
  • how our emotions can run away with us
  • how our beliefs can keep us from positive change
  • our perceptions of how we use our time, recognising our beliefs about time and a look at some practical ideas for time management
  • an evaluation of our habits, both good and bad, and how we can build on the good and develop healthy habits for self-care of body, mind and soul
  • the inclusion of daily rhythms into our routines as a way of changing us and coping with stress. These will include contemplation, silence, solitude, rest, restoration, renewing of your mind, journaling, contentment and simplicity.
  • most of our time, however, will be spent in applying these different practices and experiencing exercises so that you can make them authentically your own. These will then be more accessible to you in stressful situations.

Package Cost: R1500 (10% discount if you pay by 30 June)

Date for the in-person course: Monday 9 August 2021

Time: 9.00 – 16.00

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za.

More details after registration.

We will adhere to Covid-19 protocols. The venue is covered, but open to the outside. Weather permitting, there should be opportunities for walks and the joy of sitting in the splendour of creation.

We are committed to keeping our environmental footprint as small as possible – no one-use plastic to be found at our course.

Stress management for busy moms

Treat yourself to an outdoors’ day of rejuvenation, relaxation and practical stress management skill building in this picturesque setting close to Magaliesburg. Leave the kids with their dad or another family member, and spoil yourself with a luxurious break in the beauty of nature.

This package also includes one individual coaching session of 1 hour (to be booked at a time convenient to you – online or in person) to follow through with you personally so that there is real and practical progress in your ability to manage your stress.

When we experience stressful circumstances, we often struggle with strong emotions like anger, pain, anxiety and fear. It feels like they are taking over our lives, and we try to avoid dealing with them for as long as possible. However, suppressing them often results in an uncontrolled pressure-cooker effect: the pot boils over or even explodes, often when it is most inconvenient.

There is an alternative. By integrating those strong emotions into our lives, learning what lessons we can from them, and harnessing the motivation and energy they give us, we can implement real change in our circumstances or grow in our ability to deal with them. This journey will feel uncomfortable at times, but the reward of reaching the destination – a more unified, integrated, cohesive personality and way of living – is well worth it.

All that is needed for some stress-free me-time will be provided on this day away: your needs will be catered for with refreshing drinks, treats and a sumptuous (but healthy!) individually-packed picnic lunch. A workbook and a goody bag is included.

Our course content for the day covers:

  • exploring your stressors and the effect they have on you
  • how our emotions can run away with us
  • how our beliefs can keep us from positive change
  • our perceptions of how we use our time, recognising our beliefs about time and a look at some practical ideas for time management
  • an evaluation of our habits, both good and bad, and how we can build on the good and develop healthy habits for self-care of body, mind and soul
  • the inclusion of daily rhythms into our routines as a way of changing us and coping with stress. These will include contemplation, silence, solitude, rest, restoration, renewing of your mind, journaling, contentment and simplicity.
  • most of our time, however, will be spent in applying these different practices and experiencing exercises so that you can make them authentically your own. These will then be more accessible to you in stressful situations.

Package Cost: R1500 (10% discount if you pay by 15 March)

Date for the in-person course: Monday 22 March

Time: 9.00 – 16.00

Book your place with vera@tt-tt.co.za.

More details after registration.

We will adhere to Covid-19 protocols. The venue is covered, but open to the outside. Weather permitting, there should be opportunities for walks and the joy of sitting in the splendour of creation.

We are committed to keeping our environmental footprint as small as possible – no one-use plastic to be found at our course.

If you are interested but cannot participate in March, vote for a time that suits you here.

Knowledge is power…when there is action

Hi, my name is Vera and I am a knowledge addict.

I have completed 8 online courses since lockdown began. I have a number of new ready-to-be-absorbed courses downloaded on my computer – about coaching, about trauma. I attend most COMENSA events, where we can learn from other coaches. I am on numerous Facebook and LinkedIn groups about diversity and social cohesion, climate change, homeschooling,  coaching. I listen to mp3 talks on subjects that fascinate me on most days. I follow a number of interesting podcasts.

If this knowledge is just intellectual sponge-soaking, it will make no real difference in my life. I am overindulging and getting knowledge-fat.

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Power & Agency Think Tank

Feeling overwhelmed by our circumstances and experience can make us feel and act like victims. How can we reclaim power and agency? What can we do to be an active agent of our destiny?

During this online Think Tank group coaching session we will have an honest look at the problems we want to change. We will also explore what we can constructively do to rediscover possibilities when it is easier to stay stuck and overwhelmed.

It will require energy and dedication to keep going even when it gets tough. There is much to be learned in a community encounter where diverse opinions and experiences enrich and support us all – we can all give and receive.

Date: Monday 15 February 2021

Time: 19.30 – 21.00 SAST/ 17.30 -19.00 GMT/ 18.30 – 20.00 CEST/12.30 – 14.00 EST

Cost: R150/$10/€10/£10

Places limited to 10. Book yours with vera@tt-tt.co.za

 

Choosing agency

by Khanyi & Vera

Everyone has the right to call themselves a victim at this historical moment – a victim of the fallout around Covid, to a smaller or larger extent. So much has happened in the last year that is unrelated to any action on our part, that feels like it is beyond our control. Admittedly, the pandemic has affected us to different degrees, but all our lives have been changed.

Everyone has the right to call themselves a victim, but not everyone chooses to label themselves that way. Many could choose to call themselves victims given their circumstances and experiences, but not everyone subscribes to the stereotype. What are the perceived benefits to seeing ourselves as the victim in a situation? Is it worth the fight for first place? Is there a hierarchy of victimhood and an overall victim victor? What do we lose when we shake off the label?

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Doing things differently…

As some previously bizarre things have become part of our new normal due to circumstances beyond our control, let’s not give in to the idea that we have lost all agency. Let’s give the concept of voluntarily doing things differently some thought.

As I wrote last time, I have been putting some time and effort into establishing an outside office in my garden, where I can comfortably work and safely see coachees with social distancing protocols in place. I also decided to look beyond our property for other outside options, and have discovered some beautiful spots that can work a little further afield – ideal for walking, thinking and talking at the same time.

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Think Tank – Unconscious Bias

Unconscious biases are the underlying attitudes and stereotypes that people assign to another person or group without being aware of it. These biases affect how people interact with each other.

Do you feel you have been exposed to unconscious bias? At what cost? Are you aware of your own unconscious bias? During this Think Tank we will explore what we can constructively do when we are faced with unconscious bias directed at us, but also have an honest look at our own.

Join Khanyi Mthimunye & Vera Marbach on a group coaching whatsapp call to explore unconscious bias together.

Send a private message or email to vera@tt-tt.co.za to book your place and get details for payment. Suggested donation: R50.

If you cannot make this time on Saturday, could you make the earlier one at 11.30?

Releasing Tension

Tension sits in our bodies.

As we are exposed to a stressful situation, our brains automatically start off their fight- flight-freeze responses. Our hearts start pumping faster, our muscles tense up for action. Often, in today’s society we do not react with physical movement to the stress, but with a mental and emotional response from a seated position. A physical action would dissipate the built-up tension in our muscles, and change the balance of hormones and neurotransmitters. We would be able to relax. Mental reactions just don’t have the same effect on our bodies. So we regularly sit with the physical feeling of tension long after the cause has passed. Often, when we are exposed to a similar situation, our bodies react in the same way they did before. It’s almost like a muscle memory that is recalled and with it come the associated emotions. We can get stuck in a spiral with ever-increasing tightness. So the tension in our bodies builds up, stressful experience stacked upon stressful experience – a complex interaction between an anxiety-producing incident, our impression of its meaning, our emotions and our embodied experience that keeps us trapped in the hold of anxiety.

There is hope – because of this complex matrix it is also possible to break the connection from different angles. In my last blog I explored our attitudes to times of tension as the foundation for working with our anxieties, as well as what we can learn from our emotions.  This time, I would like to explore some physical approaches to reducing embodied tension as part of the process of releasing the hold of the tension cycle:

Read More

Planning for laughter?!

Last time we had a closer look at the role of the neurotransmitters Oxytocin and Serotonin in experiences that lead to happiness. This time we will focus on how dopamine and the endorphins are produced and what we can do to stimulate their production.

 Dopamine produces a sense of excitement about an event that rewards us more than we expected. It can motivate us to take action toward goals, desires, and needs, and gives a surge of reinforcing pleasure when we achieve them. Many of the goals we had before lockdown have had to be postponed indefinitely, like celebratory events, or holidays we planned. So to produce more dopamine, we can focus on goals that are possible given our current circumstances. Is there something that challenges you, maybe something you always wanted to do? It could be learning a new skill, finishing something you previously started, tidying up a specific area, writing a journal, recording memories for your grandchildren. Breaking the task into bite-size pieces, maybe making a start of just a few minutes, makes success easier to reach. Crucial to the process is that we celebrate the achievements in some way – giving yourself a “gold star” obviously won’t work, but doing something you really enjoy after meeting your goal may do the trick.

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Dwelling on the positive

It is so easy for us to focus on the negative, especially at this time in history. The news headlines grab our attention with words that play into this human habit and feed our fears: “Jobs bloodbath”, “emergency budget”, “decimating and devastating storm”, “lockdown dictator”, “Eastern Cape battles shortages”.

We also have a tendency to replay our blunders from different angles and regurgitate our mistakes.

Pleasant emotions seem to be so much more subtle than negative ones. Our attention is arrested by numbing anxiety and we hardly notice the passing potential of the positive experience.

According to research in the field of positive psychology, pleasant incidents are more frequent than negative, but it is a choice to let those positive events become positive emotions by giving them more attention. Apparently our perspective is broadened and we become more creative when we are positive. I could certainly benefit from a broader perspective and more creativity right now!

So, I have decided to pause and prioritise those fleeting experiences – the fresh taste of the juicy grapefruit, the warm comforting glow of the open fire, the contagious belly laugh of the toddler, the colourful flower conquering the cracks in the pavement, the smiling eyes above the mask, the polite gesture from the stranger, the effort made by shop attendants to communicate despite the PPE barrier, the reassuring hug of a close family member. Let’s linger a little longer as we think upon these things…

 

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